Nicole Miller

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Nicole Miller

Taking Care of Ourselves

Therapy is an extremely valuable process.  

Each of us, at different stages in our lives, go through periods where we feel scared or alone or both. Sometimes it can be unclear how to best take care of ourselves in the midst of navigating a stressful time. When struggling with any type of depression or anxiety or a feeling of loss or sadness it's important to practice awareness, acceptance and compassion for what you are experiencing. My goal is to help you identify the internal and external resources that can support you during these times.

No matter what stage in life you are at, a helpful exercise is to ask yourself: If I had two years left to live, would I continue to live the way I am right now? If not, what is one small action that you would take? I encourage my clients to take small steps. The ability to take small, committed actions can go a long way in making meaningful changes in one's life. 

I have been a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 20 years. I have an office in Santa Barbara, California. I also offer virtual appointments. 

I work with individuals, couples and families.  

The best way out is always through.

Robert Frost

Teens and Families

I have been working with adolescents for over 20 years.  I also provide family therapy.

Being an adolescent is not easy.  Being the parent of an adolescent can also have it's challenges.  I have extensive experience with assisting families navigate these difficult times and helping parents decide when to allow their children to take a risk versus when it is time to set boundaries or pivot and make a change.  

I think it's important to help families discover how to live together in a way that is aligned with their own value systems. It can sometimes be challenging to distinguish between what's important to your own family versus what's important to others. 

Family Members

Family dynamics can be complicated. 

If you have become a caretaker of a family member, spouse or partner you may go through a complicated and emotional grieving process.  You may find yourself feeling isolated or lonely because family members or friends are passing away. In addition you may be recognizing your own physical, emotional and mental changes. 

I work with parents who do not want to burden their children and are not comfortable sharing their fears and feelings with their friends. They wish to have their privacy respected.  

I am here to listen and help families and family members recognize and navigate all types of emotional and personal needs.  

Navigating Health Issues

I am a two-time cancer survivor. 

Supporting you and your loved ones as you or they navigate treatment for any health issue means a lot to me. I understand the shock and fear that comes with an initial diagnosis. I know that some people go into depression, while others go into a fight or flight response and don't feel emotions until later. Often people don't know how to process such a scary diagnosis. It can be difficult to communicate your needs effectively. Relationships can change because the people who care about you are scared, too. 

I've been there and I can help you learn how to take care of yourself and how to communicate with physicians, family, and friends. 

About Me

I have had a private practice with offices in Santa Barbara, California, and Ojai, California for over twenty years. 

I am the mother of teenagers.  

I have cared for aging parents and grieved their deaths.

I understand the emotional journey one goes through when faced with a serious medical issue, life transition or loss, and the importance of how to advocate and negotiate for oneself in a time when it is essential.

I use ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. ACT supports people to identify what is most important to them and creating a life in alignment with those identified values. These are some of the teachings of ACT.